top of page
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
Search

Protecting Our Emotional Health as We Age

Aging brings wisdom, perspective, and often a softer heart. But it can also bring challenges that weigh heavily on our emotional well‑being. I learned this firsthand while caring for my father during the last ten years of his life.


He lived with diabetes, asthma, heart disease, and chronic pain from two botched hip replacements. He missed my mother terribly. And one of the things he said most often was, “I hate being a burden.”


He used humor to cope; sometimes morbid humor; like asking us to zip him into a body bag “up to the chin so he could still talk and eat but be ready for death.” One year he even sent all the kids plans for a convertible coffee‑table‑slash‑coffin and asked if someone could make it for Christmas. We never knew whether to laugh or cry.


Looking back, I see how much we did right. He interacted with people daily. We took good care of him. We talked through things together. But his comments should have been a signal that perhaps he needed more support. He might have benefitted from talking to a therapist. I wish we had encouraged him years earlier to take better care of his health so as to improve his quality of life as he aged.


Now that I’m a senior myself, I understand even more clearly how important it is to take charge of our own well‑being. This post is for anyone wondering how to keep life meaningful, and how to protect ourselves from the darkest thoughts that sometimes accompany aging. Everyone’s situation is different, but I hope these ideas help someone feel more hopeful, more understood, and more empowered.


What We Can Do to Stay Emotionally Well

I want us to erase the stigma of having anxiety or depression. I want us to feel comfortable asking for and getting help. This might come from therapists, medications, friends and family, or lifestyle changes.


I have struggled with anxiety my whole life. If I wrote an autobiography, it would be titled “Clenched from Birth.” Therapy and medications have really helped me, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. But the lifestyle habits I’ve adopted have also been life‑changing.


Connect With Other People


This is so critical. Studies show that social connection is linked to improved emotional and physical health. Being social also reduces the risk of early death. Does talking to my plants count?


In‑person visits, phone calls, emails, and video chats are lifelines. Our emotional health needs connection, so we should practice reaching out. There are plenty of other lonely seniors and even younger people who would love a chat.


I’ve had my share of down times, but I’ve learned that communication helps so much. When I get a cute picture of one of my grandsons, it lights me up, and I send them regularly to my mother‑in‑law, our only remaining parent. Even better, we both enjoy a visit or a phone call with one another.

Engage in Meaningful Activities


What brings us joy? We should do those things, whether big or small. Some examples are:

  • Reading books

  • Learning something online

  • Volunteering

  • Mentoring

  • Singing or playing an instrument

  • Writing poetry or stories

  • Fishing

  • Caring for a pet

  • Swapping jokes with grandkids


Joy and meaning are what make life worth living. I absolutely love hanging out with my three‑year‑old grandson. We can be goofy and ridiculous together, laughing hysterically without embarrassment. It feels so happy and freeing. Baking cookies for neighbors gives me meaning too. I love to write, and I just bought a ukulele. Trying new things helps. It really does.

Take Care of Our Bodies


Exercise, eat well, and sleep enough. Physical and mental health are deeply connected.


I know firsthand that a brisk walk boosts my mood, while a weekend of junk food does the opposite. Dave and I are determined to do everything in our power to take care of our bodies and minds. We want to move, think, work, and play for many years to come. We both have struggles, but we can only keep on trying.


Unexpected things can happen to all of us, unfortunately. We should talk to our doctors about any aches or conditions that might be affecting our emotional well‑being. Being stubborn or trying to be a hero about our problems is a bad idea. No one wants a cranky hero

Plan for the Future


Having something to look forward to can keep us going. It might be a dinner out, a visit from a friend, or a big trip.


For me, knowing I’ll see my kids or grandkids fills me with anticipatory gladness. I just had a wonderful visit from my best high school friend that I had really been looking forward too. Just having something on the horizon lifts our spirits

Develop Coping Strategies


The longer we live, the more we face tough emotions. There are healthy ways to manage them. When my mom passed, I struggled deeply, and I wish I had talked to a grief counselor. Processing emotions takes time and support. Coping Strategies include:


  • Talking to someone trustworthy

  • Journaling

  • Meditation

  • Spiritual or religious practices

Seek Professional Help


Sometimes all the other steps aren’t enough. If we are feeling hopeless, depressed, or just “off,” we need to talk to a therapist or counselor as soon as possible.


I started therapy in my late 50s, and it was life‑changing. I wish I’d gone twenty‑five years earlier. Studies show that therapy‑based interventions are highly effective for combatting negative emotions.


There’s a stigma around mental and emotional health care in older generations. Frankly, that stigma can go straight into the “who cares?” file (right along with a lot of other things). My dad finally agreed to antidepressants in his late 70s and felt like a new man. We don’t need to wait. We deserve to feel good.

Learn the Warning Signs


Signals that Someone may be Struggling:


  • Changes in mood

  • Decreased appetite

  • Sleep changes

  • Problems with daily functioning

  • Giving away possessions


Don’t be shy about asking someone if they’re in a bad place, regardless of how they might react. Let’s look out for each other.


A Final Thought

With a chronic back condition and a spinal injury, I’ve started to understand what it feels like to be less productive and less mobile. I also understand the worry of becoming a burden. My moods go up and down depending on the day, and I still work full‑time.


But I know this: I can’t wait for others to make my life better. That’s my job. And it’s yours too.


We’re not done yet. We matter. We have wisdom, humor, love, and stories to share. Life can be hard and full of worry and pain, but there is still joy to be found.


Let’s keep living. Let’s not just survive, but thrive.


Know Where to Turn in a Crisis

If you or someone you love needs immediate support, reach out to crisis resources. Having those numbers accessible can make a difference.


988 — National Suicide and Crisis Hotline

Veterans Crisis Line — Text 838255 or chat online

Senior Mental Health Hotline — 866‑903‑3787

AARP Friendly Voice — 1‑888‑281‑0145 (leave your info for a call back from a trained volunteer)


Source(s):


Disclaimer: The information in this article is for informational purposes only, and should never be used as a substitute for direct medical advice from your doctor or other qualified clinician. Talk to your own medical professional before making any changes to your health practices.

Comments

bottom of page